Season 2026Preseason
Abu Milk Mile 2026
The record books

Hall of Fame

Every champion, every last-place finisher, and every moment this league refuses to let die.

2
Seasons
2
Champions
1/2
Punishments
served

Season by season

2025Season
  1. Champion
    Jansen Nye
    Big Bobos
  2. Runner-up
    Jon Carter
    commit tax fraud
  3. Third place
    Kyle Oimoen
    Drake Maye
Last placeStill owed
Brad JusticeNo longer in the league· Njigbas in Paris

24 Hour Waffle House

Brad Justice ducked the punishment as the Great Brad Flake left a lasting mark on the league. Brad was immediately banned from Abu Milk Mile as a result and has not been missed.

Drafting Jaxon Smith-Njigba and Christian McCaffrey catapulted Jansen Nye's Big Bobos to the crown, while Jon Carter's commit tax fraud put up an admirable fight in second place. However, Kyle Oimoen's Drake Maye deserves a shoutout as well: some have drawn parallels between Abu Milk Mile's 2025 playoffs and the real NFL 2025 playoffs, as Drake Maye had arguably the best shot at taking down Big Bobos, just like how the Los Angeles Rams put up a much stronger fight against the Seattle Seahawks than the New England Patriots did in the Super Bowl.

2024Season
  1. Champion
    Cooper Dolphin
    Mason's B!tch
  2. Runner-up
    Jansen Nye
    Big Bobos
  3. Third place
    Kyle Oimoen
    Rashee Fried Rice
Last placePunishment served
Parker Beer· Sir they hit the twin Bowers

Trick-or-Treating in January

Despite the Great Achane Fleece of '24, Cooper Dolphin's Mason's B!tch took down Jansen Nye's Big Bobos in Abu Milk Mile's inaugural season, powered by Josh Allen's legendary 2024 fantasy season.

All-time ledger

Manager1stTop 3LastWon
Jansen Nye12—2025
Cooper Dolphin11—2024
Kyle Oimoen—2——
Jon Carter—1——
Aaron Walker————
Aly Ahmed————
Brady StewartNo longer in the league————
Chase Fingerson————
Evan Strong————
Jeffrey Wansart————
Mason NaumovichNo longer in the league————
Mike Abunimeh————
Sean Anderson————
Brad JusticeNo longer in the league——1—
Parker Beer——1—

no longer in the league

Iconic moments

Season 2025

The Great Brad Flake

Despite autodrafting his team, Brad Justice was widely considered to have drafted the best team in Abu Milk Mile in the 2025 preseason, and started the year with a 3-2 record. However, the Njigbas in Paris manager simply could not help himself and fell into complete inactivity and deadbeatery, tanking in the season standings and eventually losing the Toilet Bowl. Then, after weeks and weeks of repeated efforts at outreach and attempts at compromises, it became clear that the "Cardboard Eater" had no intentions of fulfilling the 24 Hour Waffle House punishment. Brad was permanently banned from Abu Milk Mile, and the fallout from the Great Brad Flake of '25 has been significant: this incident is the reason behind the $30 punishment deposit instituted for the 2026 season.

Featuring Brad Justice